Lost?

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing starts
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off

2008 Hyundai Elantra

I picked up my new car last night, and love it! I have never really been one of those 'car guys', but I have to admit, I am enjoying the new wheels.

I had a really amazing purchase experience at the Hyundai Dealership in Oakville. If you are in the market for a new car, check them out. Really great pricing, and the best service around.

www.hyundaiofoakville.com

What a week!

So, yeah, this has been a really great week. Actually things in general have been really great for me. I am LOVING my new condo, and so happy to be in my own place. I am out quite a lot, but when I am home, I am constantly aware of how much 'at home' I truly feel. I had a little condo warming party last Saturday, and the evening is a great memory, that brought a lot of great energy to my space.

I was pursuing a promotion at work, that was confirmed this week. I am now a Home and Auto Account Manager, supporting our Group portfolio at RBC. The promotion means I move up a pay band (more $), I get 4 weeks vacation, a laptop, and my base bonus doubles. More importantly, I have a new job that is exciting, challenging, has travel opportunities and a lot of growth potential. I couldn't be more pleased!!!

My dear friend Susan gave birth to a bouncing baby girl on Wednesday July 30th at 11:16am. Ainsley Grace Innis weighed in at a healthy 9lbs 2oz., both Susan and Ainsley are doing well, and are glad to be home from the hospital. All the very best to both Susan and Lance!

I heard somewhere once, that life happens in 7 year cycles. It's funny, because I 'came out' on July 25th, 7 years ago this year. The past 7 years have been eventful to say the least. I lost 215lbs, divorced, 'came out', and started a new career. Wow, it was a whole lot, and at times, quite honestly it was bloody overwhelming. I struggled at times, with darkness that I thought would never go away. I think I felt that I should 'be' at certain places with in my life, that I was not, and was hard on myself for the shortfalls.

Today I can honestly say that I am basking in light! Most of those gaps have been closed and as I approach my 40th birthday, feel a greater sense of alignment (placement in my life), and greater sense of who I am. I have many many blessings in my life!

I wonder what the next 7 years hold for me??? Things could get very interesting!

Although the last 7 years were a struggle at times, I wouldn't change a single day. I am, and always was, EXACTLY where I was suppose to be!

Cheers Universe! and Thanks~

Viva la Vida

Well, I am a huge Coldplay fan, and was anxiously awaiting the release of their new Album 'Viva la Vida'.

I downloaded the CD from iTunes to my iPod, and went for a walk down by the water, with the new music playing.....

The first song 'Life in Technicolour' is breathtaking. It's an instrumental sampling that is reminiscent of older Coldplay anthems. I will admit that it brought tears to my eyes, like being with an old friend you haven't seen in a while.

The album itself is good, it's safe to say that my relationship with Coldplay is well established and unshakable. That having been said, I did find some of the tracks over produced and even 'noisy' at times.

I recently caught an interview that George Stroumboulopoulos did with Chris Martin. During the interview Chris admitted to feeling that the band needed to deliver something "Quality" in this new album, almost as an apology for the earlier stuff? He was at times self deprecating, which surprised me to be honest.

I guess I am in love with some of the older, more raw material. Chris and his piano. I guess 'The Scientist', 'Fix You', and 'Yellow' can't be replicated. Some honourable mentions on the new album are 'Strawberry Swing', 'Death and all his Friends' and the best song on the album for me is 'Lost?' (not to be mistaken with the 3rd track 'Lost!')

I'd still marry you Chris, I don't know what that Gweneth Paltrow has over me? ;)

Love Of My Life

I love lilacs and avocados
Ukuleles and fireworks
And woody allen and walking in the snow
But youve got to know that

Youre the love of my life
You are the love of my life
You are the love of my life
You are the love of my life
From the moment I first saw you
The second that you were born
I knew that you were the love of my life
Quite simply the love of my life

I love lucy and pumpernickel bread
The statue of liberty and standing ovations
And falling into bed
But get it through your head that

Youre the love of my life
You are the love of my life
You are the love of my life
You are the love of my life
From the moment I first saw you
The second that you were born
I knew that you were the love of my life
Quite simply the love of my life

You an drive me crazy
You can drive me anywhere
Here are the keys
Just do as you please
It may not always be easy

But youre the love of my life
My heart is riding on a runaway train
You are the love of my life
Through all the pleasure and pain
From the moment I first saw you
I knew it right away
I knew that you were the love of my life
Simply the love of my life
You are the love
The great love of my life

Love Is Everything

This song is very close to my heart. It's sung by the amazing KD Lang. Those of you close to me will know what this song relates to. Give it a listen, I think it's just beautiful~

GOLD MEDAL WINNERS!!!

This morning the Piranha's won 1st place in their Championship Play off game. They all played really well, and won 11 - 5. I am so proud of all the boys!!! I am most proud of Nick, the best son and best goalie in the whole world!!! I love you Nick!!! Awesome game!!!

I'm Listening

For The Nights I Can't Remember

I see it in the way you would do
When no one else could ever get through
Holdin' back till I come around
Time and time again you wait for me to come
And did you really look my way?
Cause no one could of seen this comin'
I would never let you down
If I was runnin' back?

I can and I will
And you'll see your hero come runnin'
Over and over tonight

And I do wanna love you
If you see me runnin' back
And I do wanna try
Because if fallin' for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time

Me, I'm used to being tired and bloody
But you believed that I could be somebody
You put your world on hold for me
Gave away to follow failure through the fire
I need you to know I will
Believe me girl, I'm so tired of runnin'
I just wanna hold your hand
Stare at you like you got everything I need

And I can so I will
And you'll see your hero come runnin'
Over and over tonight

And I do wanna love you
If you see me runnin' back
And I do wanna try
Because if falling for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time

And what if I never said to you I was dynamite?
(Dynamite)
And what if I never told you I'm afraid to cry?
(I wanna cry)
What if I never let you down inside?
I'm sorry for the nights I don't remember
What if I never said to you I would try?

And I do wanna love you
If you see me runnin' back
And I do wanna try
Because if falling for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time

And I do wanna love you
(I wanna love you)
And I do wanna try
(I wanna try)
Because if falling for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time
So hold back your tears this time

Happy Valentine's Day

The Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

Last night I rented 'The Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind'. My friend Mariana says it's her favourite movie, so I had heard of it, but had never actually seen the film.

It's funny you know, I often buy a book, or note a movie, but never read/watch until a later date or time. The funny thing is, that I do read/watch exactly when I am suppose to, and usually with profound revelation.

I bought Marianne Williamson's book 'A Return to Love:Reflections on the Principles of A course in Miracles' back in 1992, and didn't read it until 2 years ago. It's as if I new I was to read it, but had to wait for the right moment in time.

I had never seen the movie 'City of Angels', until my friend Eva brought the movie into my life. I watched it, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Right moment and time.

Anyway...that was a long winded explanation to the fact that I FINALLY saw 'The Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind'. It made me think about painful relationships that I may have had in my past, and whether or not I would want to 'remove' the memories from my head? Ultimately I decided that no, I would not have them removed.

As painful as certain events are in our lives, I believe that they are all part of who we are today, and that the old saying "what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger" is more true than not.

It's a really poignant film, the cinematography is brilliant, and some amazing performances are delivered by the cast of actors.

If you haven't seen the movie, rent it one Sunday afternoon, it will make you think!

Jay Brannan

Ok, so yes I have a crush........

His name is Jay Brannan. I saw him in the film 'Shortbus' and fell in love, not only with him, but his music.

Last Thursday, I had the distinct pleasure of meeting him, and watching him perform at the Supermarket in Kensington Market.

His music is a folky blend of darkness and light, with a resonant sadness and dis-enchantment with the mainstream franchise of life, religion, relationship etc. I was impressed by how amazing he sounded live, even better than he sounds recorded, which is a real testimony to his talent.

I still don't understand why a record company has not snatched him up? In a world of no talent pop stars, they let a true singer/song writer fall through the cracks. But alas, not much makes sense in the world today I find.

Aside from being easy on the eyes, he has a warm and inquisitive coyness about him. Quite lovely all around......watch for him, he's not going to disappear!

Great show in Toronto Jay! when are you coming back? xo

I Don't Wanna Miss You

The streetlights bow
the traffic sings
Think about how many times
Love changes lanes
Maybe we lived our lives in chains
Maybe we never were just friends
And the days go by
And you wonder why
You're still holding up the sky

I don't wanna miss you so much baby
I don't wanna miss you all the time
I don't wanna drive myself so crazy
And lie awake in someone else's arms
But I do

Right on time
The cymbals crash
And the tears you thought were gone
Have come to town again
Maybe my love wrecks everything
Maybe emptiness is key
There's a radio that calls your name
Everytime I hear it sing

I don't wanna miss you so much baby
I don't wanna miss you all the time
I don't wanna drive myself so crazy
And lie awake in someone elses arms
But I do
Baby I do

Maybe I'll chase the moon this time
Maybe I'll get it right this time
I was standing in your doorway
Hoping one day you'd be mine

But I don't wanna miss you so much baby
I don't wanna miss you all the time
I don't wanna drive myself so crazy
I don't wanna miss you all the time
yeah yeah

I don't wanna miss you so much baby
I don't wanna miss you all the time
I don't wanna drive myself so crazy
And lie awake in someone else's arms,
But I do
yeah yeah
But I do

Steel Town Cyphers

The Recess Renegades did battle yesterday at McMaster University's Student Centre. The University hosted the Steel Town Cyphers Battle. Attendees came from all over Canada to battle it out. It was so great to see Alex and her troop bustin' their moves. I was really proud of her. Way to go Alex!!!

Look out NHL

My son Nick plays in a 3 on 3 league at The Burlington Pond. He is the goalie for the Pirahna's. I am really proud of him!

Every game starts with all the dad's suiting up their respective son's in their hockey gear. Nick always makes conversation with the other boys, and is a really good sport. He always talks the other boys up, and tells them "great game".

Every game, many members of his family come out to watch and support him. Nanny, Grandad, Grandma Pat and Grandpa Bob have all become fixtures. We are all so proud of him, and love to watch.

I am really proud of you Nick, I love the time we share getting you into your gear. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Love you!

Amazing

You paint a picture on the wall
Cause you've got a lot to tell me
But you don't think you could say it better oh baby

You're bringing up times I can't recall
And I'm sure they made your point
But I just can't seem to remember yeah

And I know you've got the feeling
And I can't say I'm agreeing
With your topic of conversation
So just listen to the reasons
And the hints I've been giving
To the thoughts of my imagination

So come on let me see
I say baby you are amazing
I want to let you see
That you are everything and more to me
I will let you be I will I will

Cause I saw you walking down the hall
And I had a lot to tell you
But I didn't think you could say it better oh baby

You're good at makin me feel so small
And I know you made your point
But I just don't want to remember yeah

And I know you've got the feelin
And I cant say I'm agreein with your topic of conversation
So just listen to the reasons
And the hints that I've been giving
To the thoughts of my imagination

So come on let me see
I say baby you are amazing
I want to let you see
That you are everything and more to me
I will let you be I will I will

Cause I'm dancing around
In your world of play
I'm takin my time to make sure you stay
I would give my life to make it okay yeah

So come on let me see
I say baby you are amazing
I want to let you see
That you are everything and more to me
I will let you be I will I will