I need to preface what I am about to write with the following caveat....I am gay, and proud of who I am. I am not ashamed of being gay, and am openly gay in all areas of my life.
Having said that, being gay for me is about loving (sexually/romantically) another man. Full Stop. I still don't quite understand the whole 'stereotypical' gay life that so many gay men seems to choose...or does it choose them?. I see so many gay men in there late 30's early 40's still clinging to the youth driven subcultures that exist in the gay world. The need to be "fabulous", "glamorous" and "partying" still seems to permeate otherwise well balanced lives. Gay men are expected to be 'chiseled', 'ripped', 'hairless', and meticulously 'groomed', it's a very high expectation. What happens if you fall short of this unrealistic expectation? Maybe drowning your sorrows in "Cocktails", under the guise of being "just fabulous" thank you?!?! Something to think about?
The interesting phenomena that I see developing is that gay youth seem to be resisting a lot of this. Gay men are coming out at a much younger age, are factoring in children, and marriage, and will attest to finding much better quality food and better tasting drinks at many varied establishments city wide. The food/drink quality of the establishments at the intersection of Church and Wellesley leave much to be desired in my opinion, and I think that is being reflected in dwindling numbers in attendance in the Village these days. I mean, why can't two gay men go out and have dinner in Bloor West Village or call me crazy....How about the Lakeshore in Oakville? If they act like everyone else in the world, why shouldn't they? Or do they stand out in a way that makes them different? The question I pose is if they do act differently than every other male of the human species, why???
Even the media is changing. Ang Lee took on the brave project of directing Brokeback Mountain. A poignant 'love story' that involved two men. But wait a minute? Were they really gay??? I mean, where was Madonna? Kylie? Prada? Disco Balls? Poppers? Or was it just two men that were in love? Could it be their being 'gay' was just about their love for one another? And imagine, in the absence of all the 'gay' window dressing and idioms. I realize that the era made it difficult for the two characters to be together, and they ultimately weren't, but indulge me in the idea. The idea that, being gay can exist in the absence of all the stereotypical typecasting.
'New Country' left behind 'plaid' table cloths and "There's a tear in my Beer" for a more sophisticated hip country. Is it possible that it's time to embrace a 'new gay'?
Imagine a gay man being portrayed on television as a father, a professional and not a 'campy' interior designer?. Oprah is always so relieved to see a black man in a movie that isn't being portrayed as either a Rapper or a Pimp. Perhaps a new gay 'standard' is in order?
Gay for me exists quite effortlessly, it is who I am, I live in Burlington, because I grew up there, and it's where my family and friends are. I promote a positive gay example for my community by assimilating into it. Not quite as loud and in your face as Toronto Pride, but effective non the less......Try it on Brothers!
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