Happy New Year

I am not a big New Years guy to be honest. I could just as easily skip the whole evening, but I do want to mention a few people who I love, and want to wish a very Happy New Year! People who are important to me. I hope they know it. Here goes....(and in no particular order)

Mom, Dad, Tracey, Nick, Alex, Jo, Kelly, Steve, Ben, Craig, Beth, Auntie Mo, Uncle Michael, Loui, Mary, Celia, Lucas, Eva, Matt, Colin, Steven, Luke, Steven, Corey, Rocco, Steven, Stephen, Trevor, Elizabeth, Kara, Sukhi, Rani, Susan, Julie, Neil, John, Cher, Gail, Steve, and Jamie (you're AMAZING)

All the best in 2008!!!

D xo

Hanging by a Thread

When I cry
I close my eyes
And every tear falls
Down inside
And I pray
With all my might
That I will find my heart
In someone's arms
When I cry
Cry...

When I cry
And when I'm sad
I think of every awful thing I ever did
And when I cry
There is no love
No there is nothing
That can comfort me enough
When I cry
Cry...

Oh the salt inside my body ruins
Everyone I come close to
My hands are barely holding up my head
I am so tired of looking at my feet
And all the secrets that I keep
My heart is barely hanging by a thread
Hanging by a thread...

Oh look at me
At all I've done
I've lost so many things that I so dearly loved
I've lost my soul
I've lost my pride
Oh I lost any hope of having a sweet life
And so I cry...
Cry...
Cry...

Oh the salt inside my body ruins
Everyone I come close to
My hands are barely holding up my head
I am so tired of looking at my feet
And all the secrets that I keep
My heart is barely hanging by a thread
Hanging by a thread...

I miss you all
I wish I was
With you now
I wish... I.... was...

Shortbus

I saw the most lovely film this afternoon. I had heard of the movie through a friend, and was curious about it. I had been told that it was pretty sexually explicit, which in all honesty peaked my interest, and I guess was the main motivation for renting it.

As the film opened, I was impressed with the visual imagery, and yeah, it's pretty sexually explicit in the beginning.

What I wasn't expecting was how the character development transcended the initial nudity and sexual content. As the story unfolds and you are introduced to each characters story, it becomes a poignant, and beautifully moving film.

There is a character in the film named James, and he touched my heart. I related to something he said (Skin). It's pretty personal, so I won't elaborate, but if you ask me in person, I will share it with you.

Watch this movie if you can. It's not for everyone, but if you get past the shock factor in the beginning and follow the story, you won't be sorry.

In the special features, there is a commentary dubbed over the movie, narrated by the director and main characters. It was interesting to understand some of the meaning and symbolism that was incorporated in to the filming.

Shortbus....a pleasant surprise....

Merry Christmas

I just wanted to take a moment to wish everyone, and I do mean everyone a very Merry Christmas. Take a moment during all the busy 'ness' and be grateful.

I love you!

Darran xoxox

Taking Chances

Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.

You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,

But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There’s nothing like love to pull you up,
When you’re laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,
Like lovers do.

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

Don’t know much about your life
And I don’t know much about your world.

The Reason For The Season

It's December 17/07, and Christmas is almost upon us. The malls are packed, and peoples stress levels sometimes go up with all the socializing, planning, and expectations attached to the holidays. I have many friends who 'poo hoo' Christmas, touting that it's just another commercial cash grab on the part of the retail industry.

I can get as stressed out as the next person, however I always try to retain the spirit of Christmas, and the true meaning behind it. I don't think you have to be a Church goer' to honour the Spirit, and energy of the holiday.

As we celebrate the birth of Jesus, I think it's about remembering those you love, giving, forgiving, and reflecting on what you hold valuable in this life.

I challenge everyone to make a difference this Christmas. Take time to make a card or gift for someone you love, if you resent the commercialism. Mail someone a Christmas card, it may be the only one they receive. Host a gathering for your friends to attend, and make them feel special. Do something for the less fortunate, or do some volunteer work. I know first hand that it's the best gift you can give....yourself!

I am grateful for so many blessings in my life, and seem to be more so during this season. There is an energy around Christmas that is palpable for me.

I remember my Grandad loving Christmas, and he always made it special. It was about family being together, and honouring each other. I think he past that love down to me, and I am grateful for it.

Be kind to yourselves this holiday season, and don't stress too much.....try and enjoy it as much as you can....Eggnog with rum helps ;)

Class

Before I begin writing about "Class", I need to apologize for my Blog 'absence'. I had a really busy summer and it seemed to spill over into fall. I always said that my writing had to be 'organic' and 'authentic', and in all honesty, I didn't feel to write. So I didn't! That having been said, I am back~

So, I am truly sick to death of Brittany Spears, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton etc.....have we sunk so low that we need to live such a voyeuristic existence??? with our choice focus the aforementioned individuals???

When I think back to years past, there seemed to be more a 'classy' representation of celebrity, the likes of Nicole Kidman and Frank Sinatra for example.

Classic sensuality has seemed to evolve into trashy sexualization. I thought evolution was supposed to be a betterment, not a degeneration.

Rosita Missoni, co-founder of the Italian Missoni fashion house once said that true elegance is about being selective in what you reveal. If a woman is wearing a low cut dress and highlighting her cleavage, she should not expose her back, or legs too much. Alternately, if the is wearing a dress that exposes her back, she should not expose too much of her cleavage. It's all about balance and 'highlighting' one of her attributes at a time, not all of them at once.

I think it's great advice, and something that the 'bare all' celebrities of today should be informed of. I think I am hyper sensitive to this, as my daughter Alex approaches young woman hood. It is very important to me to instill a sense of style and elegance in her. I first and foremost want her to respect herself, and her body, and worry about the role models that she has thrust upon her by mainstream media.

Similarly for my son Nick, I want him to be a gentleman, and have respect not only for himself, but for women. I have always liked Frank Sinatra for his sense of style. I know he may have privately been a 'womanizer' but publicly he always presented a debonair sense of style. I guess all I can do is be a positive role model for my kids, and try and set a good example where ever and when ever I can.

My friend Susan always laughs at hearing me say "Nick/Alex, that's not appropriate"....lol......It is one of those 'Dad' sayings that I hear leaving my mouth quite regularly. But with the 'standard' as it is today...can you blame me???

I wonder if we will return back to a more classic sense of style, and elegance....I really hope so!!!!

Big Girls Don't Cry

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

La Da Da Da Da Da

Welcome to the World Benjamin!

My cousin Kelly had her baby yesterday. She gave birth at Joseph Brant Hospital in Burlington to a baby boy weighing 6lbs 7 oz. Kelly and her husband Steve named their new son Benjamin.

The kids and I stopped in to visit this afternoon, and he's just adorable!

Happy Birthday Benjamin! Welcome to the world, We love you!!!

Congratulations Craig and Beth!!!

Last night we attended the wedding of my cousin Craig and his fiance Beth. It was held at Geraldo's Banquet hall at Lasalle Park in Burlington.

The ceremony was held outside, followed by a reception in the banquet hall. In between the ceremony and reception, hors d'oeurves and drinks were served outside. It was a lovely venue.

We had a great dinner and danced the night away. Congratulations Craig and Beth...We love you guys!!!

"Call Me Irresponsible"

Tonight I got home just after 10:00pm, I was wanting some fresh air so put on my Ipod and went out for a walk by the water. The music of choice for my 'romantic' moonlit walk was the new Michael Buble CD 'Call Me Irresponsible'.

As I walked up Brant street from the water, the downtown core was illuminated by trees draped in lights, and the glow from each shop. It's such a lovely area. I often sit on the patio at the Starbucks and people watch, I am so glad to live in such a beautiful area.The weekends that I have my kids, we always walk/roller blade along the water front at Spencer Smith park. My kids even comment on how lucky we are to live near such a beautiful spot. The neighbour hood I live in offers such a great balance for me. The weekends I don't have the kids, it's great for a young professional, the down town coffee shops, shopping, and lakefront patio's. There is also a great variety of restaurants and bars located in the downtown area.

Balance that with the Park, splash pad, beach front, running/rollerblading path's and it's a great place for my kids on the weekends they are with me. I can't say enough about it. We also have an amazing Art Centre right on the water, with a variety of Guilds that operate out of the Centre. I feel at home in this neighbourhood. It feels good!

Nick and Alex

I have the best two kids in the WHOLE WORLD!!!

I love them so much!

I don't know where you are on your path
I have never stood in your shoes
I see not with your eyes
I know not what your purpose is here
In this stage of your evolution
But I feel blessed to know you
As you are not in my life by chance
And you are my teacher
As I hope you learn from me
I pray I show reverence to you
I pray not to judge you
I wish to let you be
Who you are
Who you dream of being
I will just be beside you
And watch you grow
And the day will come for sure
When we will know why
Our paths crossed this way
And until then my friend
Be who you must be

Diarmuid Cronin (Slightly Adapted)
Australian Friend and Poet

Letting Go

The post preceding this one is the lyrics to Sarah McLachlan's song "Ordinary Miracle". I really love the song, and it spoke to me today in a way that I had not experienced it before.

I have always believed that there is a natural order to the Universe and that all things unfold in the exact way they are suppose to. The thing I realized today is that, as human beings we 'get in our own way'.

We have trust in the universe that our cells grow, our lungs take in air, the trees grow, the sun shines, flowers bloom. We don't really worry about these things too much. We have faith that they will do what they are suppose to.

Why is it then, that as human beings we worry and fret about so many things in our lives and relationships. I wonder if the tree worries that its trunk is too thick? Or that its branches are too long? or that they have too many leaves? is neuroses a condition that only humans are saddled with?

Do our ego's and pride cause more worry and stress? If we had more trust in the Universe, that things are all on the right track and that things are unfolding the way they are suppose to, would we be able to relax and enjoy more?

Everyone that I know worries, about there weight, their relationship, getting a job if they are unemployed. I wonder if we just stopped and had faith, that our lives would be less complicated. Could we potentially have less disease, less depression, less angst about our every day to day lives?

When I identify things that I trust and have faith in...my relationship with God, the love I have for my children....I don't have any angst about them. They are effortless and I trust in them. I need to start having more faith in me, and let go of some of the things I struggle with.

Easier said than done, I know. I am always stressing about my weight, I worry that people won't like me, or be attracted to me because I have a few extra pounds, it becomes all consuming. I wonder what would happen if I TRULY let the issue of my weight go....

I wonder if I would be free to fully be myself, with out thinking that people are judging me, and in the process, win people with my authentic heart. My organic way of BEING. An interesting thought. I can already hear my head refuting even the possibility. I have some work to do.......

Ordinary Miracle

It’s not that usual when everything is beautiful
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

The sky knows when its time to snow
You don’t need to teach a seed to grow
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Life is like a gift they say
Wrapped up for you everyday
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own

Isn’t it remarkable?
Like every time a raindrop falls
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Birds in winter have their fling
And always make it home by spring
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

When you wake up everyday
Please don’t throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
Cause we are all a part
Of the ordinary miracle

Ordinary miracle
Do you want to see a miracle?

Its seems so exceptional
Things just work out after all
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

The sun comes up and shines so bright
It disappears again at night
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Herban Cowboy

So a few years back now, I was at my friend Mariana's, she had a variety of soaps in her bathroom, one of which was an organic milled soap called 'Herban Cowboy'. From the first time I smelt it I was hooked!

I now use the 'Dusk' soap and deororant, it's organic, so no harmful chemicals, and the scent is awesome. I have never had much success with organic deodorant, and always end up choosing the drug store brands (chemicals galore) in lieu of 'B.O.', but this one works.

It's one of my favourite things. Try it, you will be hooked~

Happy Anniversary

One year ago today, I wrote my first 'Authentic One' blog entry. Many changes have occurred for me since that first entry.

I hear from many friends and family that they check in daily, thank you for that, I am grateful that you enjoy what I write.

Lately I have been busy, and have not made time to write as often. I will have to make more time.

I really enjoy the outlet, but it needs to be organic for me, and I have to have something to say.

Still, one year, and I still have more in me to write. Those of you who know me well are not surprised to hear that ;)

Love to you all!

Bitten

I recently caught an interview with Sarah Jessica Parker on Oprah. I had known of the actress from Sex in the City fame (Even though I have never actually seen an episode), and her celebrity marriage to Matthew Broderick. I had never really seen the 'lady' behind the 'celebrity' and was really impressed.

She is launching a line of clothing called "Bitten". Based in the USA, offering sizes 2 to 22, and no piece is more than $19.99. She says "fashion is not a luxury, it's a right".

She spoke of her upcoming 10 year anniversary to her husband, and the raising of their son. When Oprah asked what she wanted for her anniversary gift, she thought a "note" would be nice. Isn't that lovely? I personally feel that the move away from hand written correspondence is a sad commentary on today's etiquette, or lack there of. Courting and romance is a lost art, but she and Matthew seem to have the market cornered. More power I say!

When two of Oprah's audience members were brought up on stage, Sarah shook their hand and asked "How do you do?!?!". I love the formal elegance in the way she conducts herself. Very Classy!

As my daughter grows and approaches womanhood, I try to instill a sense of elegance, style, and a 'standard' that she can set for herself. It is a relief to see a lady such as Sarah Jessica shining brightly. Her elegance far outshines the dull flicker that the likes of today's 'celebutants' cast in the world. Move over Paris, Sarah gets my vote, hands down!

Apache Blessing

Hey strangers! I found this Indian “blessing” on a charming sign in a little shop today and bought it to hang somewhere in my screened porch out back…..as Darr would say, I guess it “spoke to me” :o)

We live in a hectic world and its hard to “walk gently” sometimes or focus on the “beauty” rather than all the negative….but little reminders like this can’t hurt.

So from me to you:

May the sun bring you new energy by day.

May the moon softly restore you by night.

May the rain wash away your worries.

May you walk gently through the world

and know its beauty all the days of your life….


Miss you and hope all is well!
Love,
Lizzy



My girl Elizabeth sent this to me and our friend Susan today....I had to share it...I miss her! :(

Grace Kelly

Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I guess Im a little bit shy
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me without making me try?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
Ive gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

How can I help it
How can I help it
How can I help what you think?
Hello my baby
Hello my baby
Putting my life on the brink
Why dont yo like me
Why dont you like me
Why dont you like yourself?
Should I bend over?
Should I look older just to be put on the shelf?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
Ive gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

Say what you want to satisfy yourself
But you only want what everybody else says you should want

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

The Rocky Horror Show

Last night I saw the CanStage production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. What a great night.

My friend Joel organized the evening, with about 10 friends. He and I met for Sushi first(great restaurant choice by the way Joel), and then headed over to the St. Lawrence Centre, Bluma Appel Theatre.

I have seen the original movie a handful of times and know that there are a series of rituals that the 'die hard' fans partake of. Throwing a variety of props at the screen during certain scenes, and talking back to the lines of the script. Well throwing props at the stage was prohibited, but the 'shouting out' was encouraged.

There was a group of people in front of our group, just to the right. They must have seen the movie 1000 times, as they knew every line, and talked back to almost every spoken word of the production. I'll admit, at times it was too much, but in the spirit of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, everyone took it in stride. It actually added to the evening to be honest.

The performers were amazing, great voices, and great stage presence. I love live theatre, and enjoy seeing a variety of different shows. We are so lucky to have access to such great theatre in Toronto.

So I had a great evening, met some new friends, and got to hang out with Joel. Thanks for everything Joel, great night, great company xoxo

Look After You

If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh

Concert Calls

I got a call earlier tonight from my best friend Loui. He and his wife were at the Billy Joel concert at the Air Canada Centre.

Loui has always called me whenever he has been in attendance at a concert, and either let's me listen in on a song live, or leaves me a voice mail with the live audio of a favourite song.

It always touches me, and has moved me to tears on many an occasion. Ok, ok, I know, me being moved to tears is a fairly regular occurrence. Music is one of those things that has always been very close to my heart, and I often connect to my feelings through the lyrics of a song. I always have.

What touches me about Loui's calls is that he thinks of me. In the middle of a concert, he thinks of me, and calls to share the mood and energy of the event. The ironic thing, is that I get exactly that, the ENERGY. As I listen to the live performance, the likes of Jann Arden, Elton John, Billy Joel. I not only get the energy of the song, but the energy of the packed auditorium seems to come through as well.

I hope to attend many more concerts with you in person Loui, but keep the calls coming in my absence.

It touches me more than I can say~

Happy Birthday Mary

Wishing you a great Birthday Mary. I hope you are treated royally today Bella, you deserve it.

Love you honey~

Happy Birthday Sis!!!

Hoping you have a really great Day Tracey! See you at dinner tonight~

Love you!!!

Love Is Everything

Maybe it was to learn how to love
Maybe it was to learn how to leave
Or Maybe it was for the games that we played

Maybe it was to learn how to choose
Maybe it was to learn how to lose
Or Maybe it was for love that we made

Love was everything they said it would be...and
Love made sweet and sad the same
But love forgot to make me too blind to see
You're chickening out aren't you?
You're bangin' on the beach like an old tin drum
I cant wait for you to make
The whole kingdom come
So I'm leaving

Maybe it was to learn how to fight
Maybe it was to lesson our pride
Or Maybe it's just natures way
Maybe it was to learn how to laugh
Maybe it was to learn to cry
Or Maybe it was for the love that we made

Love was everything they said it would be
Love made sweet and sad the same
And love forgot to make me too blind to see
You're chickening out aren't you?
You're bangin' on the beach like an old tin drum
I cant wait for you to make
The whole kingdom come
So I'm leaving

First I turn to you
Then I turn away
So you try to hurt me back
Awe it breaks your body down
So you try to love bigger
Better still
But it...it's too late

So take a lesson from the strangeness you feel
And know you'll never be the same
And find it in your heart to kneel down and say
I gave my love didn't I?
And I gave it big...sometimes
And I gave it in my own sweet time
I'm just leaving

I'm just leaving...............

Happy Easter

The Paradox Of Our Time

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit "Skip Ahead"...

By Dr. Bob Moorehead

I am not sure if it's my approaching 40, but I having been questioning the direction we are taking as a society. This article sort of sums up what I am feeling.

Just last Saturday I was watching Much Music with my kids, it was around 4:00pm, and the screen showed a warning "The following program contains scenes of nudity, sexuality, and may not be appropriate for young children"....

When I was a kid, I was lucky to catch a glimpse of nudity after 11:00pm on the Italian channel. Now you can catch it on a Saturday afternoon with your kids! Charming~

When, and why has everything become so overtly sexualized? Is there nothing to be said for 'sensuality' anymore? Nothing is ever left to the imagination.

When driving my kids to school at 8:00am, we get to hear radio commercials for 'Condoms', the 'Morning After Pill', and for when you are not satisfied in your 'marriage' or 'relationship'...you can always call on the 'Ashley Madison' alternative dating service....where 'discretion' is guaranteed??? Are you kidding me???

Back in my day, a person who slept around was called a 'slut'...now sex has become a recreational activity a kin to going to Starbucks for a coffee.....Don't get me wrong, I like sex as much as the next guy, but it has an emotional attachment for me that I can't seem to move away from.

I had a great conversation at dinner Friday night with a couple of close friends. We were talking about the '20 somethings' in the work place today with fair weather work ethics, flexible morals and self serving values. It's certainly an 'I' mentality.

We wonder if the 'celebrity' based worshipping of Paris Hilton and the likes have had an impact? The glorification of 'no talent' socialites that basically are famous for just having money. Does it create a culture of up and coming youth that look for similar 'celebrity' status for no real reason? It's not like you have to actually DO anything today to become a celebrity.

It leaves us with a group of "FABULOUS" 20+ year olds with a righteous sense of self entitlement.

I look for the 'real' everywhere I go, and try and avoid the 'plastics'. I wonder if the pendulum will swing back, and we will re-connect with some of the values of the past? I know we have had to move away from a lot of the rigidity of the past. I personally would not have wanted to be gay man in any decade prior to the one we are in.

I still wonder though, if somethings were just a little more innocent, and just a little more simple??? I'd love to see some things come back into fashion. Scruples, manners, and respect of self and others being just a few of them!

(Oh God, I remember my Nan saying this stuff, I think I'm just getting old aren't I?)

Listen

Listen
To the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete
Listen
To the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release

Oh the time has come
For my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all 'cause you won't listen

Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on my mind
You should have known
Oh now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've got to find my own

You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago

Oh I'm screaming out
For my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
into your own all 'cause you won't listen

Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on my mind
You should have known
Oh now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've got to find my own

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't
If you won't

Listen
To the song here in my heart
A melody I start but I will complete
Oh now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me
But now I've got to find my own
My own...

Condo Warming Party

This Saturday night past, I held my Condo warming party. I had approximately 30 of my nearest and dearest friends in attendance, and it was a great success!!!

I had a great variety of hors d'oeuvres, drinks, and the condo was packed. I always find that creating memories in a space is what makes it feel more like a home.

The memory of the party, the friends in attendance, and the energy of the evening is what I am left with. I took a picture at the beginning of the evening before any guests were here, and someone took one at the end of the evening. Regrettably I was having too good of a time to have remembered to take any pictures in between!

Still, I have the memories in my head. My friend Elizabeth came up for the weekend from Indiana, which made the evening that more memorable!

I had a couple of friends from out of town stay over, so I made a nice breakfast on Sunday morning, with a MAJOR hang over I might note!!! I make too good a Cosmo~ Thanks to Stephen and Lizzy for being clean up crew on Sunday morning.

Thanks to all my friends and family who were in attendance. You all made the night!!! Love you!

Happy Birthday Stephen

Today is my friend Stephen's birthday. We went to 'Canoe' for dinner tonight. Canoe is located on the 54th floor of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower. WOW, the view was spectacular. I have been wanting to try 'Canoe' for sometime, so it was nice to have a reason to go.

Hope you had a great Birthday Stephen!!!! Many happy returns my friend~

The Surreal Life 3

Anyone??? Anyone??? I have nothing here, if anyone can help me with an explanation for this show???

Seriously, I thought that the last step in any celebrities failing career was Casinorama, but alas I am wrong. It is 'The Surreal Life'.

I got home late this evening, and as I checked my email had the TV on in the background. My misfortune had me tuning in to the 3rd unfortunate season of this tragic series.

Seriously...who produces this rubbish, and further more, who watches it???

Crazy ass dysfunctional people, some drunk blond amazon woman (Brigitte Nielson) smoochin' up on some crazy dude with gold teeth (Flavor Flav????) Please make it stop. Nightmares are imminent!!!

Let's be real, there is another show on TV called 'Intervention'...all those appearing on 'The Surreal Life' are all desperately in need of one!

There....I feel better......I can sleep now~

Time to Pay the Piper

Ok, so back in October when I ran the Toronto half marathon, I sustained a leg injury which prevented me for running for quite a while.

Over the past several months, it's been cold and I have been staying inside. Couple that with Thanks Giving and Christmas, well needless to say I indulged in a little more eating that I should have.

So long story short, I am FULLY fat right now. I have gained probably 25lbs, and feel just gross!!! I need to buy new clothes badly, but don't want to spend money when I am going to get back in shape, so add insult to injury, there are days I don't even want to leave the house.

......Cut to my new commitment. I declare here and now that I am committed to getting back in shape. I am going to get back to eating properly, and MOST important, I am going to get back into running and working out at the gym!

So, mark your calenders people, three months, that's June 18, 2007, I will be back to my fully fit self.

New clothes will follow, and I will have my MOJO back~

Slumber Party

A few months back, two of my friends Susan and Julie suggested that I host a 'Slumber Party' at my new pad.

So Saturday night I hosted 4 of my favourite girls in all the world. Mariana, Eva, Julie and Susan.

The ladies showed up with sleeping bags in tow, and we all settled in for a fun filled evening.

We started the night with candles lit and music playing. Smoked Salmon hors d'oeuvres, Mariana's amazing guacamole, with fresh cut salsa and tortilla chips, olives, it was all sooo great.

With the drinks flowing, we made short work of the nibblies. We then moved into chocolate fondue!!! I can't even tell you!!! So good. During the day I had made some home made chocolate chip cookies. We used those to make home made ice cream sandwiches, which we rolled in Hershey's chocolate chips. Needless to say we were all on a sugar high~
It is rare that you get to enjoy an evening with friends that doesn't have to end, it added to the level of comfort that we were all staying put for the night.

We all got our sleeping bags prepared and finally called it a night. Note to self: sleeping bags are designed to keep a person warm in very cold temperatures. Can you imagine what they were like in a heated condo??? Can you say WARM?!?! As much as we were all troopers, we lasted until around 3:30am on the floor and slowly migrated to available beds. My back never appreciated my mattress so much!!!

Breakfast the next morning was a collaborative effort. Eva makes a wicked scrambled egg!!!

Ladies....I love you each so much, I can't thank you enough for a great evening!!!!!

Happy Birthday My Friend!!!!

Today is my best, best, best friend for all time...Loui's, 39th Birthday.

Loui and I met officially in March 1986. Although we knew of each other at high school, it was working together in the Deli department at the local Supercentre (pre Fortino's) in Burlington that united us in true friendship. One that I know will last a lifetime!

Loui and I share an affinity for horror movies. Back when we were teenagers, we would have 'horror movie marathons' in Loui's basement. One summer we did a 'Friday the 13th' marathon, that involved us watching all of the series in succession. Loui's Mom was convinced that we would become serial killers from our dabbling in the macabre. Well, here we are 21 years later, we are still movie buffs, and not a serial killing between us. When ever a new horror movie comes out, one of us invariably calls the other, mentioning the new movie 'trailer' and injecting a horror movie 'sound effect' to impart the mood and fear of the movie.

It's actually an interesting thing for us to have in common, as we are both fun loving people who wouldn't hurt a fly between us.

In my life there have been many changes. Dating, marriage, separation, reconciliation, my losing 215lbs, coming out, divorce, relationships, break ups, make ups, kids....and the one constant that I know I can always count on is Loui. Loui has stood by me through it all!!!

Our friendship has seen us travel through Europe together (oh the stories!!!), family stuff, health issues, many a great meal and many a great game of cards (Foot)

Loui is one of the kindest and most gentle men I know. He will do anything for anyone who asks, often putting himself last. He is an amazing teacher, husband, and father. He just got a promotion to Vice Principal, and I am so very proud of him. He will be the best Vice Principal the school board has ever seen.

Loui has a great sense of integrity, and I can always count on him to be the voice of reason. He lives by his word, not something you can always count on in 2007.

He always sees the bright side of life, and goes about his day with a smile and humour. I admire him for so many things, and keep him as my moral compass in a world that sometimes seems to have thrown values and 'standards' out the window. He is a rock that I know I can always hold onto, in any storm that life brings my way. He is the brother I never had, he is family!

Wishing you the Happiest Birthday Loui!!! I hope you get treated royally today, you deserve it! Love you!

Somewhere Only We Know

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

Ooo
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Happy Valentines Day

In The Bones

This past weekend I attended the final course of The Coaches Training Institutes core curriculum, 'In The Bones'.

I attended with mixed emotions. I was excited to receive the learning, and complete the core curriculum, but was sad that I was not going to see the familiar faces that have become like family any longer.

'In The Bones' pulls all of the previous courses together, and removes some of the establish 'rules' that had existed. I was so relieved to here them say that some of the rules that I struggled with had been removed. It felt like shackles were removed, and I was able to finally fly.

Our group all got together on the Friday night for dinner and drinks at one of the attendees. It was nice to be in a home setting and allowed us all to be in a relaxed environment.

I have to say that the time spent with these people and the learning that I received, I will carry for the rest of my life. I had some profound learning both about coaching, and myself.

Thanks to Deborah, Helen, Liliane, Parool, Peggy, and Troy. And to the group, I love you all and will never forget you!!!

NAMASTE~

Happy New Year!!!!

Whatever dreams you're dreaming,

May each one of them come true.

Whatever plans you're making,

May they all work out for you.

And may you have more happiness

Than any words can tell.

Not only on this day,

But all the year as well.

Author Unknown